Although the hair on the top of my head is thinning, I have been blessed with a face that covers itself quickley with lush, thick bristles. On occasion, I have grown out the beard out of sheer laziness and fear of the intense pain of razor-burn. Also, like most men, for some reason I find great satisfaction and accomplishment in acheiving something when I don't have to do anything!

I have begun a movement to free the male species (and some female) from the bondage of shaving. The mustache for too long now has been stereotypical of cops, childmolesters and other beloved individuals in our society. Have we forgotten the legacy of great world leaders who wore the broom like Ghandi, Teddy Roosevelt, and San Diego Padres Hall of Famer Rollie Fingers? I will admit that there have been a few evil dictators like Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Geraldo Rivera who became drunk with power and have led a people blinded by the glory of the mustache down a twisty road. Now People do not trust a stashed man. I am here to change that. My natural ability to get a five o'clock shadow before 3:15PM will help me lead men to reform our society. As a follower once said "we are taking back the mustache!"

WILL YOU JOIN US?

We also need the help of daughters, girlfriends, wives etc. The only complaint is that it tickles when kissed by a man with a furry face. Because of this minor detail, women badmouth the mustache. This kind of selfishness can ruin a man. Finding the lips may be a little more difficult, but when found, they are nice and warm and free of any debris. We need your help in this struggle. Besides, since when did a woman not like getting tickled?

If you wish to answer the call, send a check or money order of $19.95 for member dues to:

THE MUSTACHE MOVEMENT
411 North Fayette St.
Alexandria, VA
22314
USA