THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES
As the Founder, president and only member of the mustache movement, this past week I have felt a lot of pressure to fulfill my calling to regain the deserved respect facial hair brings.
There has been some opposition to the cause, for example as I went about my daily chores with the lip broom I heard whispers of pedafile, 70's used car salesman and even a co-woker announced in a crowded room that I look like an out of work porn star (little does he know how true he is!) Besides these few instances of sacrilege, there has been progress in overcoming the ingnorance that remains in our society. I think the most stunning discoveries I have made as a mustached male are those of the incredibly ironic inconsistencies of the female gender. They have been the most outspoken group to oppose this peaceful campaign, but once the furry catipillar crawled across the top of my mouth, they quickly changed their opinion and expressed their approval by running their fingers through it (it's getting long) and describing me with such words as "Debonair" and "Exotic".
One image that burns in my mind and keeps me going is from an episode of Night Rider I saw as a young boy. Michael Knight was a futuristic crime fighter who had a magic talking car named KITT (the extra T was for Technology) who would almost always save him from certain death (for more information see http://www.knightrideronline.com/wiki/doku.php?id=knight_rider ). In this chapter of Knight Rider, Mr. Knight's evil twin shows up on the scene, hijacks his car and causes all sorts of trouble in the world. Both characters were played by a young and upcoming actor in tightly clad pants and a full chest of hair named David Hasselhoff. But how would we know which man in tight jeans was Michael Knight and which was his sinister twin Jerry? The writers must have barely passed their creative writting courses in college because they decided to define the diabolic brother with a mustache!
I still feel distraught that a world leader with such power and authority as had David Hasselhoff would discriminate against a group of individuals because of a difference in physical appearance.
Stand up and be counted. Write a letter to your congressman today to stop the prejudice that continues!
As the Founder, president and only member of the mustache movement, this past week I have felt a lot of pressure to fulfill my calling to regain the deserved respect facial hair brings.
There has been some opposition to the cause, for example as I went about my daily chores with the lip broom I heard whispers of pedafile, 70's used car salesman and even a co-woker announced in a crowded room that I look like an out of work porn star (little does he know how true he is!) Besides these few instances of sacrilege, there has been progress in overcoming the ingnorance that remains in our society. I think the most stunning discoveries I have made as a mustached male are those of the incredibly ironic inconsistencies of the female gender. They have been the most outspoken group to oppose this peaceful campaign, but once the furry catipillar crawled across the top of my mouth, they quickly changed their opinion and expressed their approval by running their fingers through it (it's getting long) and describing me with such words as "Debonair" and "Exotic".
One image that burns in my mind and keeps me going is from an episode of Night Rider I saw as a young boy. Michael Knight was a futuristic crime fighter who had a magic talking car named KITT (the extra T was for Technology) who would almost always save him from certain death (for more information see http://www.knightrideronline.com/wiki/doku.php?id=knight_rider ). In this chapter of Knight Rider, Mr. Knight's evil twin shows up on the scene, hijacks his car and causes all sorts of trouble in the world. Both characters were played by a young and upcoming actor in tightly clad pants and a full chest of hair named David Hasselhoff. But how would we know which man in tight jeans was Michael Knight and which was his sinister twin Jerry? The writers must have barely passed their creative writting courses in college because they decided to define the diabolic brother with a mustache!
I still feel distraught that a world leader with such power and authority as had David Hasselhoff would discriminate against a group of individuals because of a difference in physical appearance.
Stand up and be counted. Write a letter to your congressman today to stop the prejudice that continues!
posted by Brian Gilliland at 7:15 AM
2 comments
